


Salad Days

by Katzedecimal



Series: The Kitchen God's Strife [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Comedy of Errors, Cooking, Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 08:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7215721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's kitchen luck finally seems to have run out.  Everything was going along fine.   And then, it wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salad Days

[20:28 John Watson] Sherlock, where are you?  
[20:29 John Watson] You just up and left the hospital.   
[20:29 John Watson] You didn't even wait for me.  
[20:30 John Watson] My IV drip is still draining so you must have ripped yours out.  
[20:30 John Watson] I hope you at least got half the bag into you. You need to replace the fluids and electrolytes, Sherlock.  
[20:41 John Watson] Sherlock?  
[20:42 John Watson] Mrs. Hudson says you're not at home.  
[20:44 John Watson] Sherlock Holmes, answer me!  
[20:56 John Watson] Alright, I can understand why you might not want to speak to me right now.

[20:57 SH] Brilliant deduction, John.

[20:58 John Watson] Oh thank God. Sherlock, where the hell are you?   
[20:59 John Watson] Sherlock?  
[21:01 John Watson] For fuck's sake  
[21:01 John Watson] I'm sorry I made you go to the Met's staff potluck, alright?  
[21:03 John Watson] Look, it wasn't your fault.

[21:04 SH] And yet they still blame me. I heard Donovan.

[21:05 John Watson] Yeah well you missed Anderson tearing a strip off her for it. He's the one who bought the salad kits.   
[21:06 John Watson] I'd told him and Greg about your kitchen jinx, beforehand.  
[21:07 John Watson] They were crying laughing, actually. 

[21:08 SH] I told you something would go wrong.

[21:09 John Watson] Yes I know. I could tell by the way you kept inspecting every leaf. What were you expecting to find?

[21:10 SH] A fly.   
[21:10 SH] It's happened before. 

[21:11 John Watson] Yes, I remember. I never went to that diner again. But why did you keep sniffing the croutons?

[21:12 SH] For mould, John. Obvious.

[21:13 John Watson] And the dressing?

[21:13 SH] It might have spoiled. 

[21:14 John Watson] Well, I can't fault your due diligence.  
[21:15 John Watson] To be honest, you looked a bit paranoid.  
[21:15 John Watson] And by 'a bit', I mean a lot.

[21:16 SH] Is it still paranoia if there is legitimate cause for concern and a long track record of established patterns?

[21:17 John Watson] Probably but that's beside the point.

[21:17 SH] It really isn't.

[21:18 John Watson] The point is, Sherlock, we thought packaged salad kits would be safe. 

[21:19 SH] Clearly not.  
[21:20 SH] How was I to know I'd need to re-wash the lettuce? It says 'pre-washed' on the label.

[21:21 John Watson] I know, I know. That's why we bought those kits, so all you had to do was just put it together and toss it.  
[21:22 John Watson] Sherlock, it was a cook-out. There were barbecued burgers and sausage and potato salad and all kinds of possible vectors for contamination. It could have been any one of them.

[21:23 SH] But it wasn't.   
[21:23 SH] It was the salad. 

[21:24 John Watson] You seem pretty certain. Are the test results back already?

[21:25 SH] _E. coli_ **and** _Listeria._

[21:25 John Watson] Shit!  
[21:26 John Watson] Jesus what are the odds?

[21:27 SH] If you're me, pretty high.

[21:28 John Watson] Jesus Christ  
[21:29 John Watson] Look, Sherlock  
[21:30 John Watson] Food poisoning incident aside, you did well today.   
[21:31 John Watson] Things went along really nicely.  
[21:32 John Watson] Up until people started vomiting, anyways.  
[21:33 John Watson] Sherlock?  
[21:35 John Watson] And I must say, much as we enjoy doing things together, taking turns vomiting into the loo really should not be one of them.

[21:36 SH] I thought it was one of those "bonding experiences."

[21:38 John Watson] Greg just made fun of the way I laugh. He said I sound like a little girl.

[21:39 SH] I'll be sure to insult him the next time I see him.  
[21:39 SH] Which one is Greg? 

[21:45 John Watson] They're discharging me soon. Meet you at home? Please? 

[21:47 SH] The government is launching an inquiry. There'll be a recall.

[21:48 John Watson] Good thing, too. I'm not aware of any other incidents, we must be the first. 

[21:49 SH] Lucky us.

[21:50 John Watson] In a way, yes.   
[21:52 John Watson] If they get the recall out in time, it might save a lot of other people. I'm thinking of seniors and children, they're particularly vulnerable to nasty bugs like these.  
[21:53 John Watson] You did fine, Sherlock.  
[21:53 John Watson] It wasn't your fault.

[21:54 SH] It never is.

[21:55 John Watson] I know.  
[21:56 John Watson] Come home. Please?

[21:56 SH] Alright.


End file.
